Want to have some fun in the grocery store checkout line?

Mischief in the Grocery StoryFeeling a little mischievous?

The next time you’re at the grocery store and have both food and toilet paper in your cart, ask the checkout clerk…

“Is this the right amount of toilet paper for this amount of food?”

Cats Eating
You can also use this when you’re buying cat food and kitty litter, with the appropriate change in language, of course.

If you’re lucky, you’ll have a grocery store clerk with a sense of humor.

Creating absurdity from geology: Sarah Palin and the earthquake in Alaska.

“A 7.1-magnitude earthquake struck Alaska early Sunday morning, according to the U.S. Geological Survey,” reported CNN on Saturday.

To which I add:

earth spits out Sarah Palin
“Reports indicate that Sarah Palin momentarily disappeared into a deep chasm in the earth’s surface, but was promptly spit out again.” *

* Note: I don’t normally lapse into political commentary, but on my planet “Sarah Palin” and “absurd” are practically synonyms. You’re free to think differently on your planet.

Absurdity in the checkout lane.

You can liven up a trip to the store considerably – and create some mental images you may never be able to get out of your brain – if, as you walk through the store, you ask yourself:

What three things should never be on the checkout lane at the same time? *

plunger, bowling ball, vaseline
A bowling ball, a plunger, and Vaseline.
Wine, shotgun shells, and tampons
Wine, shotgun shells, and tampons.
Cornflakes, underwear, and mazola oil.
Cornflakes, underwear, and Mazola oil.

Let your creativity flow! Bonus points if you check out with #threethings and the clerk gives you a funny look.

* Note: Rubber gloves are always funny.